With the Brooks-Cameron networking malfunction firmly lodged on the front pages, I thought I should consult John Betjeman on social advancement strategies. He wrote a wonderful poem - How to Get On in Society. (Go on, read it out loud).
Just as Cameron was approaching the Brooks household, I wonder whether Rebekah turned to her partner and asked "Are the requisites all in the toilet?"
It takes more than cutlets, trifle and fish knives to progress in life these days.
How To Get On In Society
Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served.
Are the requisites all in the toilet?
The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
And switched on the logs in the grate.
It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
So do come and take some with me
Now here is a fork for your pastries
And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
Is trifle sufficient for sweet?
Milk and then just as it comes dear?
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones.